paintings

random talks: Book Cover

The ticket checker woke him and asked him to show his ticket. After examining, the TC told him that his ticket is upgraded and he have to go to the A/c coach. He went there and see that his berth is slide lower and a young lady, whose berth is just above his berth, is sitting there. oh God!! a "Delhi" type girl, he hate that. "Delhi"type means selfish, self-centered, show -off (nothing to do with Delhi). She have her own attitude and he have to finish many work during his travel. So he concentrated on his work and lady after 10 mins or so also went for a afternoon nap. While coming down, a child came to her calling her " mamma" ..He started laughing. She understood the situation and she also started laughing.
"hi" she started (expected, reason : Delhi girls) "I m megha"(from now refereed as M)
"hello, i am debanjan" (its nothing to do with you, debanjan!!)(from now refereed as D)
D: "Are u married?" (now i understand why D is unpopular among girls!!)
M: do i look that way?
D: no...i mean no idea...hummm actually i do not understand girls ...i suppose most of us... (smiles)
M: yes... they say so...by the way, i m Not married...
D: Okkkk, so, u going to Delhi??
M: Yep
D: and what u do in delhi??
M: no, i am from Bhadohi, i am a fashion designer.
D: U FRM BHADOHI!!!FASHION DESIGNER!!! FROM BHADOHI!! (controlling himself) i can't believe this..
M: done my course (what course, i didn't remember) from IICT, after that i am working for a international company.
[For those who do not know abt Bhadohi: Bhadohi is the carpet city of India and only city in the world which having the institute of international rapport in carpet technology]

D: I am frm banaras, abt to complete my phd frm BHU. :), i was wondering.. don't mind... a modern girl like u in bhadohi.... u shud b at delhi or some metropolitan city.....
M: i choose to live there, basically i am frm Kanpur... i want to away frm my family as well as my other friends, tat's why i choose this place to stay...
D: Why?
M: .......(thinking).....ummmmmmmmmm.......
D: ok ..no problem....leave it....
M: u also going to delhi??
D: yes....to attend a conference....*shy* actually to meet my fiancee.. i want to surprise her.... she is doing her phd frm JNU and ASA i submit my phd we will get married.
M: wow... that's great..congrats!!
D: thanks...but there is a problem, and i think u can help me....
M: hummm
D: sometimes i feel like i do not understand her, also worried abt the family life..

Then they discussed about the topics.. like what a girl wants? ( very difficult question, but they did), love marriage v/s arranged marriage, etc...

M: I must say ur fiancee is a lucky ... u love her so much... and at least u try to understand her, most of the woman just want this efforts. u understand us or not that is different.
D *Shy*

Later she suddenly started like this:

M:...actually there is a problem...6 yrs back i had a affair, i was like do anything or everything for him...2 months left for our marriage... he got an offer from JNU for some prestigious course... so we postpone our marriage...after that for a yr or so, we did enjoyed a long distance relationship... afterwards, things started changing... no contact ..my mind gave me some logic ...but heart disposed all of them...even in that stage, i loved him and wanted him to come back. Later for 2 yrs i was in depression and attempted 2 time suicide. (shown some marks on her hand) after 3years of medication and support from my family i am in position to stand and face the world...

D: and so now u r going to meet him!!
M: yes.. same case as urs... i am also going to surprise him.
D: where u r going to meet him?
M: no idea.... actually..i do not know where he is...just based on the mail 3 yrs back (where he mentioned abt some hostel and room no. of JNU) i am going to search him.
D: for what??? i expect him to come back!!
M:frankly speaking yes... but i know he will not come back.... still i want to give my efforts... that will make me satisfy ...
D: it took u 6 long yrs to stand and now u want to go through all those thing again....
M: hummm...i understand that risk..but to come out of my past i have to do that...

Discussion is now on relationship, desires, career (almost everything!!) D tried to praise her, she got emotional and said: i do not need any one to treat me like "bechari"
D: no one can treat in that way but yourself, and i haven't seen strong person like you. How many people in this world can stand after such a set back... and out of that many many can travel like you to meet the past which has given nothing but pain.
Later she asked him to guide her how to reach JNU etc....they exchanged the phone nos and D through a relative frm Delhi made arrangements for her local help.

Dinner Time!! while paying the bill of food, she saw the pics of Swami Vivekananda in his wallet. M: Oh, u follow HIM...me too.
She told abt HIM, many stuff that are not known to general public...Now their discussion topic was spirituality, bhakti and.....

almost all the night they talked, lights in the coach were almost off, but for them this was the night to share pain, happiness, hope, love and friendship.

*********************************************************
email from D to M:
Dear M,
Happy to know abt the offers u have got frm different companies, but i am more happy to hear that now u have came out of your past and now u do stand more strongly. You have detached all the strings which gave u pain and the bonds of happiness which are everlasting are with u (ur family).
I have submitted my phd but marriage is not now on my cards. "she" gone to Europe for some "more imp" thing. i decided not to wait for her and go for Post-doc.

i wish you a very happy life ahead.
keep in touch.
bye
take care
D

Now i do not comment on a book by seeing the BOOK COVER

random talks: choice

Being a Gemini, there are two identical yet opposite twines resides in me. This time they are named as "you" and "me"(or "i") they are soul mates and cannot be complete without each other. Here is the last letter from Me to You.

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Dear ‘you’,

Last week, it was really disturbing. Since I came from your place, I tried to contact you, but you didn’t responded. After traveling for about 800 kms, I came to your place to ‘rescue’ you from yourself. My plan was to talk to you about you and try to find some solution(s) or simply ‘talk’. After crossing all the odds of the city (which I didn’t like at all), I came to you and started the same way we used to do long back. We always discussed the worst situations in a very light manner and always (almost) come to a solution. You were always a happy with everything, you do know how to enjoy life with smoke, booze, loud music and so on…… (and here lies the difference between me and you!!) We did have differences in the way of living but the thoughts were the same. I always share with you the happy moments and you try to make every moments happy. Actually, you were not a “fortunate” like me. At a very young age you lost your parent, always being compared with your “brilliant” brother, there was nobody to hear you when you screamed “raju bhaiyaa was tryng to rape me”……nobody heard all this, everybody just saw the” partying you”, “happy you”. Night after night after the parties and masties over me were there to hear all these and we know that we do share a very special bond. Me took all the odd moments and gave his (mine’s) sweet memory.

It all worked well for a decade. Life separated us, you can to this city and I went to that, but still we did enjoy the bond between us. As I always advised you to come out of your past and you can do that by not feeling guilty about all that happened to you (as there was no fault of yours!!) You were again alone in this city, and this time Facebook was your companion. I do remember the day, when you called me to say that you have found someone “very special” through facebook; that’s make me happy ad worried too (still I doubt your capability of taking decisions). I thanked God for you and kept my finger crossed. Unfortunate news from your side came after a week or so. Yours “special” one was a fraud and robbed almost everything from you. Emotionally and financially you found yourself nowhere. I helped you (and I do not regret that) and advised to take care such “friends”. But this time, I was also not there to help you. Parties, drugs, booze,”weekend loves”………..everything and anything was there to make you happy. These things do not make you “real” happy and also they came with a price tag(s). Professionally, you downgraded yourself and as result you were forced to some other small city. I tried to contact many times, but you never told me about yourself. 9 months or so, I just waited for you to come back.

One fine day, you called me and asked me to meet. But now distance between this and that city was more than 800km. It took me to more than 6 months to come to you. I came to you just to talk and started in the usual light manner. I didn’t realize all those things were all changed. You reacted in a very bad manner, I wondered how can you say that I just came here to take advantage of yours, I was your”best-est” friend. I also realized something worse happened, that too confirmed by you “tumko yeh kabhi malum nahin hoga ki mere sath kya kya hua (you will never know what happened to me!!)” Why I wouldn’t understand? Because I was fortunate to have all the things, you said. I remember that night, the night was similar to those which we spent earlier, and only difference we were not talking, the restless night, and we were closing all doors and windows one by one. The last person to whom you were attached was going to be lost. And yes, we lost each other. I didn’t know what happened to you in that small city.

Still, I was positive that some day we would open the doors and windows for each other, so countless emails, scraps etc all done without any response. Today, when I got a simple SMS that “you are happy with no strings attached, I am one of the highest paid worker, do not try to contact”, in a way I was happy that you are happy, but still doubt your wordings.

I wish you a very happy life.

Yours truly

“me” “I’

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After few months, I again went to this city (which he hate the most). with some friends, he went to a bar where i usually do not go. One of his friend pointed out a guy who she think is a gigolo. That night I drank a lot and after coming to the hotel, I jumped from the window of my room which is at 13th floor.

moments'11

Going through the last pics of CSE'11, reminds me of many beautiful moments. These moments make us feel alive and shows how colorful life is. Few year back, heard that1st yr student went to some hill station in summer vacation, but one of them approached me for summer project. He worked that summer in my hot and humid chamber under one of his senior. Outcome of the project was not fruitful, but student impressed me a lot. Even now, he talk in same polite tone using small sentences.
Thinking of the projects, two students told me that they are interested in my research field. "Buttering" I thought, then on second thought I gave some work. After a year, on the last examination day they are gossiping in my chamber like any of close friends.
How can I forget, the way he said sorry for cheating in examination. Came to me with his expressionless face and said "sir, kal ke liye sorry..tik hain" and just gone from there without another word (not even for me). later, his senior told me that he remain the same always. In the the last days i have seen his smiling face.
Like these there are countless moments. The way some gave the logic behind the experiments, the bad breadth and body smell (which I hate the most), the ever changing hair styles of some, the way some says thanku (sometimes original too!!), going for a company b'coz He may lose his friends. (edited many more moments!!)
This batch i was more "attached" to. I wish (and i am confident in that) they will spread their original colours in this world and make a better place. Best of Luck!! (any Guesses for whom i talked abt)