EXERCISE:

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000/month.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.

The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

And last but not least...

I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

next week i have to go to mumbai...this will be my first visit to that city.... a city that never sleep... little nervous, and little exited about my trip...

please excuse me if i couldn't make entry for next few days....

enjoy these pics....

Article 1:

Statement of Love:
The Kiss

1.
Kiss on the hand
I adore you

2.
Kiss on the cheek
I just want to be friends

3.
Kiss on the neck
I want you

4.
Kiss on the lips
I love you

5.
Kiss on the ears
I am just playing

6.
Kiss anywhere else
lets not get carried away

7.
Look in your eyes
kiss me

8.
Playing with your hair
I can't live without you

9.
Hand on your waist
I love you to much to let you go

Article 2:
The Three Steps

1.
Girls:
If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.

2.
Guys
If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good.

3.
Guys & Girls
Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare .



Article 3:
The Commandments

1.
Thou shall not squeeze
too hard.

2.
Thou shall not ask for a kiss,
but take one.

3.
Thou shall kiss
at every opportunity .

Here are a few reasons
why guys like girls:

1.
They will always smell good
even if its just shampoo

2.
The way their heads always
find the right spot on our shoulder

3.
How cute they look when they sleep

4.
The ease in which they fit into our arms

5.
The way they kiss you and
all of a sudden everything
is right in the world

6.
How cute they are when they eat

7.
The way they take hours
to get dressed
but in the end
it makes it all worth while

8.
Because they are always
warm even when its minus 30 outside

9.
The way they look good
no matter what they wear

10.
The way they fish for compliments
even though you both know that you
think she's the most
beautiful thing on this earth

11.
How cute they are when they argue

12.
The way her hand always finds yours

13.
The way they smile

14.
The way you feel
when you see their name
on the call ID
after you just had a big fight

15.
The way she says
"lets not fight anymore"
even though you know that
an hour later....

16.
The way they kiss when
you do something nice for them

17.
The way they kiss you
when you say
"I love you"

18.
Actually ...
just the way they kiss you...

19.
The way they fall into your arms
when they cry

20.
Then the way they apologize
for crying over something that silly

21.
The way they hit you
and expect it to hurt

22.
Then the way they apologize
when it does hurt.
(even though we don't admit it)!

23.
The way they say
"I miss you"

24.
The way you miss them

25.
The way their tears
make you want to
change the world
so that it
doesn't hurt her anymore.....
Yet regardless
if you love them,
hate them,
wish they would die
or
know that you would die
without them ...
it matters not.
Because once in your life,
whatever they were to the world
they become everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes,
traveling to
the depths of their souls
and
you say a million things
without trace of a sound,
you know that your own life
is inevitable consumed
within the rhythmic beatings
of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind
but of the heart.
A feeling.
Only felt.

*

Gone are the days..

When The school reopened in June,

And we settled in our new desks and benches!

When we queued up in book depot, And got our new books and notes!





When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays,

Yet managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.

We learnt writing with slates and pencils, and Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!

When we began drawing with crayons and evolved to Color pencils and finally sketch pens!


When we started calculating first with tables and then with Clarke's tables and advanced to Calculators and computers!

When we chased one another in the corridors in Intervals, and returned to the classrooms Drenched in sweat!



When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,Playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle sheds!

When all the colors in the world, Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays!



When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table, Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons!



When cricket was played with writing pads as bats, And Neckties and socks rolled into balls!

When few played "kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching sun,

While others simply played "book cricket" in the Confines of classroom!

Of fights but no conspiracies, Of Competitions but seldom jealousy!

When we used to watch Live Cricket telecast, In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks!



When few rushed at 3:45 to "Conquer" window seats in our School bus!

While few others had "Big Fun", "peppermint", "kulfi", " milk ice !" and "sharbat !" at
4o Clock!

Gone are the days Of Sports Day,

and the annual School Day ,

And the one-month long

preparations for them.





Gone are the days Of the stressful Quarterly, Half Yearly and Annual Exams, And the most

enjoyed holidays after them!





Gone are the days of tenth and twelfth standards, when

We Spent almost the whole year writing revision tests!

We learnt, We enjoyed,

We played,We won, We lost,We laughed, We cried, We fought,We thought.

With so much fun in them, so many friends,

So much experience, all this and more!

Gone are the days When we used to talk for hours with our friends!

Now we don't have time to say a 'Hi'!





Gone are the days When we played games on the road!

Now we Code on the road with laptop!



Gone are the days When we saw stars Shining at Night!

Now we see stars when our code doesn't Work!



Gone are the days when we even troubled the girls/boys on the street!

now we do have girls/boys around us but still dont find time to talk to them



Gone are the days When we sat to chat with Friends on grounds!

Now we chat in chat rooms.....!



Gone are the days Where we studied just to pass!

Now we study to save our job!



Gone are the days Where we had no money in our pockets and still fun filled on our
hearts!!
Now we have the atm as well as credit card but with an empty heart!!



Gone are the days Where we shouted on the road!

Now we don't shout even at home



Gone are the days where we got lectures from all!
Now we give lectures to all... like the one I'm doing now....!!



Gone are the days But not the memories, which will be

Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and
Ever and ever and ever .....

Gone are the Days.... But still there are lot more Days to come in our
Life!!

NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE ,

DONT FORGET TO

LIVE THE LIFE THAT STILL

EXISTS....

HAVE A GOOD DAY!

this is for all my students and friends appearing or preparing for GRE:
this is really hilarious read along The GRE difference:
Stumbled upon this real funny stuff to differentiate between a guy whose slogged through the GRE verbals...

GRE STUDENT : Individuals who make their abodes invitreous edificeswould be advised to refrain from catapulting perilousprojectiles.
A NORMAL PERSON : People who live in glass housesshould not throwstones.

*GRE STUDENT : Scintillate, scintillate, asteroidminim.
NORMAL PERSON : Twinkle, twinkle, little star

*GRE STUDENT : Sorting on the part of mendicants mustbe interdicted.
NORMAL PERSON : Beggars are not choosers

*GRE STUDENT : Male cadavers are incapable of renderingany testimony.
NORMAL PERSON : Dead men tell no tales

*GRE STUDENT : Neophyte's serendipity.
NORMAL PERSON : Beginner's luck

*GRE STUDENT : A revolving litchi conglomerateaccumulates no congeriesof small, green, biophytic plant.
NORMAL PERSON : A rolling stone gathers no moss

Some mesgs from orkut...good ones!!

Frustrated Victim of Forward Mails

I want to thank all my friends and other unknown people who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004 & 2005. Because of your kindness:

* I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good only for removing toilet stains.

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.

* When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl! that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)

* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made, expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me (when I participated in their special-mail program) would arrive soon.

* My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland .

* Still open to help someone from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle's property of some hundred millions $.

* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Dalai Lama, Ganesh Vandana, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc.. now most of those "Wishes" are already married (to someone else)

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you do not send this e-mail to at least 9137600 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will sh*t on your head today at 04.00 hour 5 min 6 secNow Give me a break !!!

GIRLS PSYCHOLOGY !!!==================================================
Fraud with Innocent Boys--------- ---------------
Fun with Handsome Boys------ ------------------
Friendship with Charming Boys--------------- ---------------------
Contact with Intelligent Boys------------ -------------------
Flirt with Freaky Boys------ ------------
Love with Faithful Boys-------- ------------
in the end=========
Marriage with the Rich Boy------------------------------------------
Moral of the story :==================Chandramukhi ho yaa Paaro, Sab Ek jaisi hai Yaaro

Just go through this ..


Dear Sweetheart:
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart

Your husbandAllen

============ ========= ========= =========

His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kissesInstead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him Some other items....... .... 5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!
Your Sweet Heart

I am back from bandel yesterday. nothing special there......yester journey was just like hell..train was 4 hrs late for no good reason.....[:(]......to refresh myself I am posting here two new jokes given by siddhart[orkut profile]...enjoy....

ek din popat(tota) ek car se takra kar behoh ho jata hai.car bala popat ko apne ghar lata hai aur uska ilaz karta hai, usko khana khilata hai aur usko ek pinjre mai rak deta haijab popat ko hosh ata haipopat bolta hai, AILA, JAIL!!!Driver mar gaya kya?

7 sadhus, 7 chatai per dhyaan lagakar baithe the.Ek Aadmi aata hain aur sabse bujurg sadhu ko Pranam kar poochta hain ..."Maharaj ladki nahi pat rahi hai.. kya Karu...? "Woh sadhu sabse chote sadhu ko pukarta hain...aur kehtaa hain" chotu ek aur chatai laga de beta.... "

THE POSITIVE SIDE OF LIFE:

* Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.
* How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
* Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
* Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?
* Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.
* If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?
* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
* Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
* We could learn a lot from crayons: Some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all exist very nicely in the same box.
* A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
* Have an awesome day, and know that someone who thinks you're great has thought about you today!

first of all happy holi to all of you. Have a look at this video, posted at youtube.
hope you will enjoy that ....

NOW i am posting some of the messages i got through orkut......some are really interesting.....

have a look...

One day Laloo was travelling by his car. He was going to a village for campaigning. Suddenly a piglet came before the car. The driver could'nt hit the brake at the right time and unfortunately the baby pig was
killed in the accident . At the sight Laloo was deeply moved n felt very upset.
He called the driver and said ,"Jiska e suuar hai hum usko compensesan dena chahta hoon. Usko dhundke lav ".
At his words the driver went to the nearest village and came back after
some time with a tilak on his forehead, garlands around his neck and lots of money in his hands!!!
Laloo was surprised . He asked ,"Hum tumko kaha tha ke uss aadmi ko laiye , aur tum aise wapas aaye ho! baat kya hai?"
At this the driver replied " I told them about the incident. Hearing it they were rejoiced, put tilak and garlands on me, then danced for some time and gave this money." Laloo then asked him "Aap unko eg-jectly kaa bole?"
The driver replied : "Main bola, mein Laloo Prasad Yadav ka driver hoon,
maine suaar ke bachhe ko mar dala hai.........."





A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road on
a motorcycle...

Girl: Slow down. Im scared.

Guy: No this is fun.

Girl: No its not. Please, its too scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!

Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.

Girl hugs him

Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put
it on yourself ? Its
bugging me.

In the Newz paper the next day :( A motorcycle had crashed
into
a
building because of brake failure. Two people were on
it,
but
only one had survived.
The truth was that halfway down
the road, the guy realized
that
his brakes were broken, but he didn't want to let the
girl
know
Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug him
one
last
time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would
live
even
though it meant that he
woulddie.

If there is
anyone in life you love this much, please send
this.Forward this to all your good friends on-line to
show
them
that you care !





Can U Prove 3=2??

This seems to be an anomaly or whatever u call in mathematics.

It seems, Ramanujam found it but never disclosed it during his life time and that it has been found from his dairy.

See this illustration:

-6 = -6

9-15 = 4-10

adding 25/4 to both sides:

9-15+(25/4) = 4-10+(25/4 )

Changing the order

9+(25/4)-15 = 4+(25/4)-10

(this is just like : a square + b square - two a b = (a-b)square.)

Here a = 3, b=5/2 for L.H.S and a =2, b=5/2 for R.H.S.

So it can be expressed as follows:

(3-5/2)(3-5/2) = (2-5/2)(2-5/2)

Taking positive square root on both sides:

3 - 5/2 = 2 - 5/2

3 = 2






There was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl. This
romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl.

Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his
future
didn't seem too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day,
his
girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also
told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them, so
they went their own ways there and then...

Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regained his confidence, he
worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make
something out of himself.

Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy had
set
up his own company..

You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day, while this guy was
driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain
walking
to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched.
It
didn't take him long to realize they were his girl's parents.

With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the
couple,
wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know
that
he wasn't the same any more; he had his own company, car, condo, etc.
He
made it! What he saw next confused
him, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and so he got out of
his
car and followed...and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling
sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his paper cranes
right
beside her...

Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened. They
explained,
she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with cancer. She had
believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want to be his
obstacle... therefore she had chosen to leave him.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you wa nt them to,
doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have. She had wanted her parents
to
put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate
brings him to her again...he can take some of those
back with him...

Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may
escape but what's in your heart will remain forever.

The guy just wept...The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting
right
beside her knowing you can't have her, see her or be with her ever
again.........hope you understand.

Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to you,
for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought
meant
nothing to you.

KINDNESS Pays !

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his
way
through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was
hungry.

He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost
his
nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he
asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought
him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How
much
do I owe you?"

"You don't owe me anything," she replied "Mother has taught us never to
accept payment for a kindness." He said... "Then I thank you from my
heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt; stronger physically,
but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give
up
and quit.

Years later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors
were
baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in
specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in
for
the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a
strange light filled his eyes.

Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.
Dressed in his doctor's gown he we nt in to see her. He recognized her
at
once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best
to
save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the
business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked
at
it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room.
She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her
life
to pay for it all. Finally, she looked, and something caught; her
attention on the side as She read these words.....

"Paid in full with one glass of milk." (Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You,
GOD,
that Your love has spread abroad through human hearts and hands."








A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his parents from San Francisco.
"Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me."

"Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."

"There's something you should know the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mind and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us."

"I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live."

"No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."

"Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own."

At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide. The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg.

The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don't like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are. Thankfully, there's someone who won't treat us that way. Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are.



Tonight, before you tuck yourself in for the night, say a little prayer that God will give you the strength you need to accept people as they are, and to help us all be more understanding of those who are different from us!!!