random talks: choice

Being a Gemini, there are two identical yet opposite twines resides in me. This time they are named as "you" and "me"(or "i") they are soul mates and cannot be complete without each other. Here is the last letter from Me to You.

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Dear ‘you’,

Last week, it was really disturbing. Since I came from your place, I tried to contact you, but you didn’t responded. After traveling for about 800 kms, I came to your place to ‘rescue’ you from yourself. My plan was to talk to you about you and try to find some solution(s) or simply ‘talk’. After crossing all the odds of the city (which I didn’t like at all), I came to you and started the same way we used to do long back. We always discussed the worst situations in a very light manner and always (almost) come to a solution. You were always a happy with everything, you do know how to enjoy life with smoke, booze, loud music and so on…… (and here lies the difference between me and you!!) We did have differences in the way of living but the thoughts were the same. I always share with you the happy moments and you try to make every moments happy. Actually, you were not a “fortunate” like me. At a very young age you lost your parent, always being compared with your “brilliant” brother, there was nobody to hear you when you screamed “raju bhaiyaa was tryng to rape me”……nobody heard all this, everybody just saw the” partying you”, “happy you”. Night after night after the parties and masties over me were there to hear all these and we know that we do share a very special bond. Me took all the odd moments and gave his (mine’s) sweet memory.

It all worked well for a decade. Life separated us, you can to this city and I went to that, but still we did enjoy the bond between us. As I always advised you to come out of your past and you can do that by not feeling guilty about all that happened to you (as there was no fault of yours!!) You were again alone in this city, and this time Facebook was your companion. I do remember the day, when you called me to say that you have found someone “very special” through facebook; that’s make me happy ad worried too (still I doubt your capability of taking decisions). I thanked God for you and kept my finger crossed. Unfortunate news from your side came after a week or so. Yours “special” one was a fraud and robbed almost everything from you. Emotionally and financially you found yourself nowhere. I helped you (and I do not regret that) and advised to take care such “friends”. But this time, I was also not there to help you. Parties, drugs, booze,”weekend loves”………..everything and anything was there to make you happy. These things do not make you “real” happy and also they came with a price tag(s). Professionally, you downgraded yourself and as result you were forced to some other small city. I tried to contact many times, but you never told me about yourself. 9 months or so, I just waited for you to come back.

One fine day, you called me and asked me to meet. But now distance between this and that city was more than 800km. It took me to more than 6 months to come to you. I came to you just to talk and started in the usual light manner. I didn’t realize all those things were all changed. You reacted in a very bad manner, I wondered how can you say that I just came here to take advantage of yours, I was your”best-est” friend. I also realized something worse happened, that too confirmed by you “tumko yeh kabhi malum nahin hoga ki mere sath kya kya hua (you will never know what happened to me!!)” Why I wouldn’t understand? Because I was fortunate to have all the things, you said. I remember that night, the night was similar to those which we spent earlier, and only difference we were not talking, the restless night, and we were closing all doors and windows one by one. The last person to whom you were attached was going to be lost. And yes, we lost each other. I didn’t know what happened to you in that small city.

Still, I was positive that some day we would open the doors and windows for each other, so countless emails, scraps etc all done without any response. Today, when I got a simple SMS that “you are happy with no strings attached, I am one of the highest paid worker, do not try to contact”, in a way I was happy that you are happy, but still doubt your wordings.

I wish you a very happy life.

Yours truly

“me” “I’

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After few months, I again went to this city (which he hate the most). with some friends, he went to a bar where i usually do not go. One of his friend pointed out a guy who she think is a gigolo. That night I drank a lot and after coming to the hotel, I jumped from the window of my room which is at 13th floor.