Women's English:

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry

We need = I want

It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure go ahead = I don’t want you to

I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!

You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like

I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you’re dead

Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep

I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Everything = My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really = It’s just that you’re such an asshole

Three close-up, three moods, one me...

with my BTP team ...simanta, rajeev, neeraj and pranab in my lab on the day of BTP viva. Simanta is one of the fav student of 2007 batch.. ....one of the best thing is his "cool" attitude. After getting one of the lowest sessional in batch, he hadn't lost that attitude. This is one of the best and the rarest thing found in someone..... my good wishes are always with him and his batchmates.

HIGHWAY OF LIFE....

Somtimes you feel more comfortable with stangers....my jouney with stangers..on 23rd may 2007, brahmaputra mail, GHY to MSG...last pic are of sunil and link...

with CKC and Konar sir of BE college, kolkata. (IITG, NPTEL workshop)

with Ashotosh, one of my fav student from batch of 2007. Popularly known as "chaatu" among his batchmates. this was taken on the last day of his stay in BHU. most probably it was his birthday....results are out for the outgoing batch and he is the topper of the branch. Good Luck!!

EXERCISE:

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000/month.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.

The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

And last but not least...

I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

next week i have to go to mumbai...this will be my first visit to that city.... a city that never sleep... little nervous, and little exited about my trip...

please excuse me if i couldn't make entry for next few days....

enjoy these pics....

Article 1:

Statement of Love:
The Kiss

1.
Kiss on the hand
I adore you

2.
Kiss on the cheek
I just want to be friends

3.
Kiss on the neck
I want you

4.
Kiss on the lips
I love you

5.
Kiss on the ears
I am just playing

6.
Kiss anywhere else
lets not get carried away

7.
Look in your eyes
kiss me

8.
Playing with your hair
I can't live without you

9.
Hand on your waist
I love you to much to let you go

Article 2:
The Three Steps

1.
Girls:
If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.

2.
Guys
If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good.

3.
Guys & Girls
Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare .



Article 3:
The Commandments

1.
Thou shall not squeeze
too hard.

2.
Thou shall not ask for a kiss,
but take one.

3.
Thou shall kiss
at every opportunity .

Here are a few reasons
why guys like girls:

1.
They will always smell good
even if its just shampoo

2.
The way their heads always
find the right spot on our shoulder

3.
How cute they look when they sleep

4.
The ease in which they fit into our arms

5.
The way they kiss you and
all of a sudden everything
is right in the world

6.
How cute they are when they eat

7.
The way they take hours
to get dressed
but in the end
it makes it all worth while

8.
Because they are always
warm even when its minus 30 outside

9.
The way they look good
no matter what they wear

10.
The way they fish for compliments
even though you both know that you
think she's the most
beautiful thing on this earth

11.
How cute they are when they argue

12.
The way her hand always finds yours

13.
The way they smile

14.
The way you feel
when you see their name
on the call ID
after you just had a big fight

15.
The way she says
"lets not fight anymore"
even though you know that
an hour later....

16.
The way they kiss when
you do something nice for them

17.
The way they kiss you
when you say
"I love you"

18.
Actually ...
just the way they kiss you...

19.
The way they fall into your arms
when they cry

20.
Then the way they apologize
for crying over something that silly

21.
The way they hit you
and expect it to hurt

22.
Then the way they apologize
when it does hurt.
(even though we don't admit it)!

23.
The way they say
"I miss you"

24.
The way you miss them

25.
The way their tears
make you want to
change the world
so that it
doesn't hurt her anymore.....
Yet regardless
if you love them,
hate them,
wish they would die
or
know that you would die
without them ...
it matters not.
Because once in your life,
whatever they were to the world
they become everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes,
traveling to
the depths of their souls
and
you say a million things
without trace of a sound,
you know that your own life
is inevitable consumed
within the rhythmic beatings
of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind
but of the heart.
A feeling.
Only felt.

*